The Merry Christmas Equilalent to Happy Holidays...

This was borrowed from another blog that I read with some regularity, and it's just a great preface to this entry for today:

(09-08) 04:00 PDT Fresno --

Fresno County authorities have arrested a man they say broke into the home
of two farmworkers, rubbed one with spices and whacked the other with a
sausage before fleeing.
Fresno County sheriff's Lt. Ian Burrimond says the suspect, 22-year-old
Antonio Vasquez of Fresno, was found hiding in a nearby field wearing only
a T-shirt, boxer shorts and socks.
The victims told deputies they awoke Saturday morning to the stranger
applying spices to one of them and striking the other with an 8-inch
sausage.
Burrimond said money allegedly stolen in the burglary was recovered. The
sausage was tossed away by the fleeing suspect and eaten by a dog.

Oh god, you guys. A man broke into a house in his pajamas and RUBBED A FARMWORKER DOWN WITH SPICES. This story is pure gold. It kind of makes me happy to be alive.

Not that I have any idea how being rubbed with spices and beat with a sausage compares with how I spent my last couple of weeks, but fecking comedy gold.

Why I can't fill in everything that's happened since my last post (hello...totaled my car???) I can talk about the last couple of days.

Christmas. It was, you know? It came and went as it does every year, and I end up feeling like I've been hit by a truck. This year more than ever because, well, I hit a truck literally, and a car. You know, wreck. Yeah, it all keeps coming back to that. My hand hurts like hell. My foot is all whacked out. My pinkie looks like half a hot dog wiener.

But I want to make a list of all the good things that have happened.

1) On Christmas Eve, on the way home from Iva, 97.1 (if I have to listen to the radio, this is my station) played some great songs all the way home. They played "Roxanne" by the Police, "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel...and no commercials all the way home. It was nice.

2) Although no one bought me the "Once" DVD for Christmas, and that was what I wanted most this year, I found it on sale at Rainbow Records. I used Christmas money to get it and came home and watched it immediately. It would only be better if I could get someone to actually watch it with me now. I want to share this.

3) Clothes sales. Bras and panties...the other thing I asked for and didn't get for Christmas, went on sale online at two of my favorite stores, so I have 4 bras and 6 cute pairs of panties on their way to me via UPS. Cute usually means uncomfortable, so it will be a bonus if they're not only adorable on my ass, but actually cover everything and not ride up the crotch. Likewise, if the bras don't pinch, shiny! Also, I got a kick-ass pair of Hello Kitty socks.

4) Maybe I should have made this #1, but I finally (FINALLY!!) got to watch Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog and it was AHHHHMAZING. Nathan Fillion has my heart forever. I would get rubbed with spices and beat with a sausage for five minutes with this man.

5) I got a pair of Uggs. Yes, I was the Ugg naysayer. Ugly, I said. Who would wear those? the answer is me, and their fecking comfortable.

6)Sleep is ranking high on the list, even though sometimes I can do it and other times, I can't. Like now. However, the tritophan-induced nap I took this afternoon was brilliant. And when I sleep, I have these incredibly real dreams. They make very little sense and sometimes freak me out a little bit (the reappearing Viagra dream?? the girl showing up Christmas morning dressed as a superhero with a Zorro mask??).

7) Videogames have been a highlight. We've played the Wii (and as I will probably say again, I am the Wii American Idol Grand Champion), although I've been more of a Wii spectator, and I've killed at Buzz Trivia on the Playstation.

8) I've had a lot of time to read, and so I've gotten into some good books. I read Rob Sheffield's "Love Is A Mix-Tape" which was excellent. I've also started Kevin Smith's book, "My Boring-Life" but I have to read it in small doses (bathroom, natch). I bought A.J. Jacobs book, "The Year of Living Biblically." I've also gotten a little farther in "Wicked." May begin the Stackhouse series soon (from the writer of "True Blood."

9) Free downloaded songs. I've hit the jackpot lately on some really good free downloads. I've gotten some Pavement, Swell Season, TV On the Radio, the Frames, and then some new bands I'm not that familiar with. When I start driving again (fingers crossed), I'll have some great tunes downloaded.

10) Food. Holidays are yummy.

Honorable Mention:

Kanye's songs: "Heartless" and "Love Lockdown." I LIKED the SNL performance, so screw you everyone else who said it sucked. I thought it was great.